Chapter 10, The Studious Monster
Thus, he decided to explore metaphysics, yet found those masters to be rather naive. He could only turn to martial arts novels in search of psychological balance. When he saw the skilled characters in the books flying through the sky, he felt a sense of comfort, thinking to himself: Look, these are the true masters, far superior to me... Sometimes, while reading Jin Yong's novels, he would fantasize that he was not inherently like this, but rather had diligently practiced the innate protective energy of Shaolin Temple. Alas, this excuse could not even deceive himself.
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Not caring for oneself, whether one is possessed by a demon or is a reincarnation of a holy infant, perhaps one is merely a genetic mutation. The world is filled with worries; why think so much? Rivers flow into the sea, following the course of nature. If those ruffians come knocking, although my physical strength can be compared to that of a tank, there is no reason to stick my head out for them to smash.
Then you should first transform into a monster for me to see, so that I can decide what to do. If you can become a bit more handsome than you are now, that would be a good thing
He vaguely believed that he understood something, but in reality... he had not grasped anything at all. In terms of Zen practice, he was certainly not the first person in the world to memorize everything in such a rote manner. One can imagine that those illiterate monks in ancient times likely also used a cramming method to attain enlightenment. However, it is rare to find someone like him, who, after memorizing everything, begins to feel a sense of enlightenment and becomes somewhat self-satisfied.
Suddenly feeling a slight itch on his back, he picked up a pebble from the edge of the pond, exhaled softly, and split it in half with his palm. After briefly measuring it in his hand, he chose the sharper piece and began to scrape it forcefully against his own skin.
In fact, he has not realized anything; he has merely adhered to one principle, which is: not to care.
He previously sat in a small dark room with a dim 25-watt bulb lit, scratching his head as he pondered, unable to clearly determine what kind of illness he had and what method should be used to treat it. Thus, he randomly chose a particularly foolish person. His thought was simple: if those ruffians possessed his peculiar physical abilities, they would likely laugh every day, unlike himself who wore a frown. Just like winning a small car in a shopping mall lottery, some people, instead of being happy, worry that it might be a scam; in the eyes of the world, that would certainly be considered foolish.
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In recent days, it has not rained, and the water in the pond is clear. Yi Tianxing, calling out loudly, stripped himself bare and jumped into the water, creating a splash in the night.
Zou Leilei's response at that time made him feel very good, very natural, and very much in line with Yi Tianxing's imagination of an ideal partner. The girl, with her large, beautiful eyes that resembled black crystals, said earnestly:
It is late at night, and for some reason, the moon is not visible in the sky, only a myriad of stars is scattered across. Summer nights always seem more vibrant than those of other seasons. Yi Tianxing sits by the pond not far from his small dark room, inhaling the fragrance of flowers and grass drifting from an unknown source, feeling the faint damp and fishy scent carried by the breeze from the pond. With his eyes closed, he tilts his head at a forty-six degree angle to gaze at the sky.
He recently read the "Sitting Zen Samadhi Sutra," which mentions the Five Methods of Counteraction. For Yi Tianxing, reading Buddhist scriptures is fundamentally about seeking remedies for ailments, which aligns perfectly with his interests. Thus, he read it carefully and committed it to memory. The text describes the Five Methods of Counteraction as follows: for those with excessive lust, the method of the Impure Dharma is prescribed; for those with excessive anger, the method of Loving-kindness is prescribed; for those with excessive ignorance, the method of Contemplating Causes and Conditions is prescribed; for those with excessive thoughts, the method of Mindfulness of Breath is prescribed; for those with excessive attachment, the method of Mindfulness of Buddha is prescribed. The text describes the Five Methods of Counteraction as follows: for those with excessive lust, the method of the Impure Dharma is prescribed; for those with excessive anger, the method of Loving-kindness is prescribed; for those with excessive ignorance, the method of Contemplating Causes and Conditions is prescribed; for those with excessive thoughts, the method of Mindfulness of Breath is prescribed; for those with excessive attachment, the method of Mindfulness of Buddha is prescribed
Yi Tianxing believed he had comprehended a remarkable truth, and his mood improved significantly. He then sat by the pond to enjoy the cool breeze
Yi Tianxing was merely playing in the water; later, he still had to go to Gonghe Village to forage for food. Therefore, he did not use soap, but simply enjoyed rubbing his body against the stone slab. He watched the floating duckweed on the water's surface and listened to the croaking of frogs from the crevices by the pond, gradually feeling his mood calm down. Then, he thought of the scene in the afternoon when he rode home with Zou Leilei.
Yi Tianxing thought of this phrase and laughed by the pond. He came ashore, threw a stone into the water, startling the frogs and insects, disturbing the fish's summer dreams, and then turned back to enter the small black room. He put on his ridiculously black jeans, donned a blue work uniform from an unknown textile factory, wore a tattered straw hat with prickly edges, and clutched a handkerchief that could never be washed white—yes, it was the same work uniform he used for scavenging every night. He walked unsteadily, lingering over the scenery, heading towards the garbage mountain of Gonghe Village with a nonchalant air, much like Su Dongpo visiting some monk at night.
This pond is actually a pit left after the explosion in 1977. As rainwater gradually accumulated, it slowly transformed into a pond with green duckweed floating on the surface. Yi Tianxing is unaware of this matter, nor does he know that he was picked up by his grandfather on the day of the explosion. He simply finds it somewhat strange that whenever he feels troubled, sitting by this pond immediately brings him a sense of calm.
He has always been perplexed by his own body, constantly feeling that he is an abnormal person, perhaps a creature of the supernatural. However, he finds it difficult to believe in such bizarre and chaotic matters, and thus he always seeks some plausible explanations. Unfortunately, despite his ability to recite the six volumes of high school physics textbooks backward, he cannot discern even a hint of a clear explanation from a physical perspective.
Thus, he meticulously read what he believed to be the method for treating the affliction of ignorance... the contemplation of dependent origination... However, after finishing the reading of such phrases as "the ignorance leads to volitional actions," his mind became completely muddled. It was only when he looked at the "Counting the Breath" section that he began to grasp some meaning, especially in the second part of the "Stopping and Observing" and the *illustrations* of the text, which further clarified that the body is fundamentally non-existent... The body is like a gathering of bubbles, not something to be grasped; it is like the ocean, not weary of the five desires.
Fortunately, the small black room where he lives is secluded; at night, there are hardly any people around, and no one is willing to approach this place that is perpetually filled with a foul odor. Otherwise, seeing someone using a sharp stone as a towel would surely provoke a variety of thoughts.
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It is said by some comrade who makes a living through philosophy that humanity always places its ultimate hope for the unknowable in religion. Yi Tianxing is no exception; being a genuine Chinese lad, he naturally refuses to cling to the Old Testament. Moreover, he is quite fond of the adorable image of little angels with wings. Thus, it follows that he harbors a strong dislike for Jehovah, that old pervert. Consequently, he began to practice Zen. For him, practicing Zen is akin to studying physics; he would gather some Buddhist scriptures from the city library and return home to memorize them indiscriminately, without knowing what kind of enlightenment he might achieve. If there are Buddhas in the Western Paradise, they would likely be completely annihilated by these dull and childish Buddhas.
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He was then caught in a strange feeling of having inexplicably defeated a group of people, so he cautiously asked Zou Leilei: "What if I really am a monster?"